buddha and butter

Back in mi ciudad favorita, as 4.85 percent of the world’s population would say. Sorry, I dont mean to sound stupid but that seems like an awfully small amount. If I hadn’t had looked it up the percentage would have stated at least 40%. Woops.

Anyway. Drove myself here yesterday noon. Forgot how much I love driving. No one there to annoy me. Just the sound of the engine, the podcast and the empty roads.

I slept horrendously bad last night. Was wide awake from like 3 to 6 or something. So the thought of falling asleep behind the wheel was present and feared. Only a humongous amount of coffee would fix that and it did. I survived.

Arrived to a very snowy and white-ish city with people actually pulling sleighs and building snowmen. Never thought I’d get to say that again. I mean the snow did turn into grey mush rather quickly and turned my smile upside down but alas. I did go on a walk anyway.

NOTE: Hatte ein Brötchen mit BUTTER UND Joghurt mit Müsli nichts gemessen nichts gewogen!Mittagessen war 50!!!! g haferflocken und birne und erdnussbutter ungewogen!Abendessen zwiebel und Knoblauch gebraten in olivenöl!!!! Ohne die Pfanne auszuwischen! Kichererbsen, Champignons, Tomaten nichts gewogen. Nudeln gewogen aber vergessen wie viel. 80 oder so.Nach YouTube wasch ich ab, hole Plätzchen und Tee und gucke the crown oder so

I ended the day with darts and biscuits in bed.

Haven’t slept this well here in ages. Both roomies were not here and I was by myself which did feel a bit weird. I woke up at like 9 so I slept for a good 10 hours!!! Woke up in a pretty good mood about discombobulated as a good night sleep here was rather strange and new to me. I wasnt gonna do yoga cause I didn’t want to but I’m always glad I did it afterwards. Theres something Adriene always says along the lines of showing up is the hardest part and it’s true. 37 minutes later and I was buddha in person.

I then took a hot shower as my room was freezing cold and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t shaking due to my abdominal area being flexed at 9:45am. Then I headed out to get myself sum breakie. I had this image of me eating eggs for breakfast and today was about making dreams become reality. In the yoga session my ‘I choose…’ was dedicated to eggs. So I headed to the shops and got eggs, avo, bread, veggies…

I made myself a breakfast of actual champions. I’m talking espresso with oat milk, eggs on toast with butter and baked tomatoes.

Then (at 1 lol) I went out again cause the other thing I wrote on my to do list for the day that I wrote in bed like an organized and happy with life person was to by a bubble bath thing. That I did, listening to my january playlist appropriately called butter and bread as it is my new found favourite food (that sentence can only come from someone who’s been restricting food for 2 years. For others that probably sounds like hell/ prison grub).

I slept horrendously bad. I am talking 2.5 hours bad. I’m talking from 12 to 2:30 am bad. When it was finally 7 I got even tho my appointment wasnt for another 2.5 hours. Didn’t even do yoga I was that tired. Because I was so hungry in the night (I had a proper meal in the evening and snacked and nevertheless woke up hungry, it’s frustrating). So I ate cinnamon roll leftovers, yogurt and muesli.

Yog and muesli and apple were also breakfast but I couldn’t stomach much. At 8:30 I walked into town. My hearing got worse. Fml. Then I walked back home and was back at 11. For lunch (had lunch at 12. Was gonna stretch my hunger so I would eat at a more lunch appropriate time but didn’t) I had half a bread roll with butter and celery and carrot and cucumber with hummus. Then I did day 4 of yoga. Really enjoyed it.

NOTE FROM MY WALK: Pros mask
Sing when in public
Lowering risk of getting Corona

with “sing in public” I mean lipsyncing while listening to music without anyone noticing.

Just when I was done panama came over. Hadn’t seen that guy in forever so we had a chat in the kitchen and then watched narcos. I feel like I speak spanish now. We watched for 6 hours in total with a food break.

Also had popcorn and cheese sticks and ben and Jerry’s as snacks. Dinner was chilli sin carne. I ate more than him ha!

Then I slept from 10 to DRUM ROLL PLEASE

9am.

I took a shower, did the laundry and at 10 I had a very much unweighed breakfast. Apple, muesli, yog, pb. Panama was in an online class, never seen him studying not that I think about it hahaha. Then we kind of chilled in the kitchen doing nothing, I presented my newly acquired zalando purchases and we did the koala challenge just the usual wednesday morn.

At 1 he left, I went on a walk getting mud all over yet another pair of pants. Then i did day 5 of yoga. Been consistent so far and proud of myself. Hardest part is showing up but I spend my days in yoga pants anyway so, might as well stretch a little.

At half 2 I made lunch. Soooo delicious. And! Guys! I used half an avocado and not just a tiny amount that would just about cover the bread! Also loads of butter. (Buddah and butter are pronounced the same in german hence the title.) Then I took biscuits and tea into my room and continued writing. Oh hey there.

NOTE FROM WHEN I WOKE UP: Usually when I wake up in the middle of the night my thoughts are like rapid flashes jumping from one topic to the next and I’m wide awake.
This night (slept from 10-9) I woke up a few times and was very delusionally singing Simon and Garfunkel wondering what the words before “queen of corona” are and then going back to sleep.
Oh yes. Slept for 11 fucking hours!!!!

Kust saw in a friend’s insta story that they have insoles that warm your feet. Gonna go there today as my pinky toes were blue when I got back from my walk today.

Got ma insoles, got ma tissues. Also stood at the check out counter anxiety driven, biting my nails: I had pistachio ice cream, banana and hummus in my basket. Fear foods.

Thursday 7th. First porridge of the year. Unmeasured. No spoon, no scale. Just from the jar straight into the pot. Also: banana. Everything is stressing me out at the mo. Then I read pages up on pages for uni. Had a good ol’ 90 minutes dance party in ma chambre after watching a shotfromthestreet vlog that straight up put me in the best mood ever.

dis one- minute 5

Then I made shakshuka with the aubergine and stuff I bought on my walk. I also bought pistachio icecream. Yes I bit a chunk of it for the picture. It hurt my teeth.

Next day: new found love. Well not top of the list, cause butter but: goat cream cheese with berry jam! My god. Also put on all the jewls. Gotta make myself look pwetty for ma family. Oh new found love the second: joan pala. Look him up – but don’t steel him from me. He’s mine, he’s my screen saver and that settles it. Then I drove the car back home. Had a good 2 hour jam session to my favorite songs. I forget how much I love driving!! In the evening I had pizza WITH DOUBLE CHEESE and red wine. Also had loads of oil-y antipasti. SO GOOD! My dad and I played a game. A wine tasting game. Could we be any more 2020? We each got a glass. And had to describe the wine with 3 adjectives and a food recommandations we’d have with it. Mine was cinnamon-y, berry-y and warm and with a walnut salad. The father said cherry-y, sour and something, with raclette.

Slept super well in ma good ol’ bed. Breakfast was egg, fresh bread roll and foamy coffee. Also got the new cross word from the newspaper and sat with my dad. Luv it. Then I walked to the shops and got stuff for a cake. Apple. Was delish. In the evenig I illegaly met 2 friends who I’ve know since I was 14. So crazy. We always went out when we were like 17. Aka when I drank a bottle of prosecco and astra rakete and then throw up.

We got pizza and the anxious struggles in my body made me shiver. I only ate half as it was gros. lol.

Next day: Sunday: brunch. I cried before breakfast. Wrote an email full of doubt to the internship guy, ate and cried. Then my dad brought me back to L where I cried. A lot. Can’t really explain why I think everything just got to me and I felt helpless, without control and was super stressed cause I had been procrastinating everything which made it all worse. Had no motivation to do anything and slept bad (in my comfy bad) on top which was frustrating. Actually sat on the kitchen floor crying.

Red wine and wraps helped.

Then I slept really well and was in a much better mood.

Came to the conclusion that I don’t like weekly posts cause I can’t decide on a good title.

notes:

JANUAR

Woche 1
Esse Avocado mit Eiern und Brötchen. Dazu Kaffee mit Hafermilch

Esse nicht mehr 30g Haferflocken mit einer Mandarine zum Frühstück.
Hatte eine ganze Banane. Hälfte im Porridge andere drauf. Dazu karamelisierte Erdnüsse.

Habe meine Haferflocken einfach in den Topf gegeben. Kein Löffel. Keine Waage.

Abendsnack sind nicht gefrorene Weintrauben sondern ein Magnum Pistazieneis!

Abends esse ich Nudeln mit einer Soße. Die Zwiebeln und Knoblauch in Olivenöl gebraten. Nicht Wasser. Die Nudeln habe ich gewogen. Habe aber rausgenommen auf die Waage gelegt und nichts dazu oder weg genommen.

Habe mehr Chilli sin Carne und Reis gegessen als Yanick. Einfach die Reste aus dem Topf. Davor und danach gesnackt: Käsestangen, Karamellpopcorn und ben and jerrys.

Habe Ziegenfrischkäse gekauft und beschichte mein Brötchen ordentlich damit. Außerdem. Wie geil ist denn bitte Butter auf Brot?

Jeden Morgen mache ich Yoga und einmal am Tag gehe ich spazieren.

Woche 2
Neuste Entdeckung : Ziegenfrischkäse mit Beerenmarmelade

Mir ist nicht mehr ständig kalt. Und hatte gestern so viel Energie dass ich eine 90 minütige Tanzparty in meinem Zimmer hatte. Spagat und Handstand included.

Theres no rules in life. Just dont be an asshole. https://youtu.be/oudmOlSnDGo

Uff pizza 2 mal hinter einander. Kriege Angst Schübe. Hatte schon Kuchen heute. Aaah Hilfe Angst. Und morgen burritos. Fuck fuxk fuck. Auch schon 2 Brötchen heute. HILFE. Angst.

Hab 300 mal hin und her überlegt. Mit Käse ohne Käse mit oder ohne. WIR NEHMEN NATURAL MIT KÄSE!
Nur die Hälfte gegessen war echt ungeil. So schleimig und voller Knoblauch. Zuhause dann noch Kartoffeln und Müsli gegessen jetzt bin ich satt.

Geil gegessen. Kacke geschlafen. So viel gefrühstückt um halb 11 es ist halb 3 ich bin immer noch satt. Will auch gar keine Bilder von essen sehen! No regrets. Hatte halbes Brötchen mit butter und Marmelade. Pumpernickel mit ei. Rosinenstuten mit butter, Käse und Marmelade und Müsli mit hafermilch. Außerdem Kaffee mit Milchschaum.
Dann war ich den ganzen Tag satt.
Hab abends 3!!! Wraps gegessen und rotwein getrunken!!!!

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