Look at her. With the little green light, telling me everything’s fine. Oh I got wifi btw. Which is why I can now upload this whilst in bed, not being able to sleep at 00:07.
Plan was to head out after getting the delivery cause I wouldn’t have to wait for it anymore (does that make sense? no? okay). Here’s what happened tho: me, in bed, scrolling instagram to figure out whether
- trump is still president. (he is),
- PSG won (they did, 6:1, woop woop) and
- kim had another baby (she didn’t).
This is what happened to me this morning btw. I’m in the kitchen, cutting an apple, as you do when trying to make porridge look aesthetically pleasing. I think: damn this knife is so not sharp, can’t even cut an apple. In that second the ikea god thought ”fuck you” and had to prove me wrong. And that is why I then had a kitchen sink filled with my blood. I cut my thumb.
My immediate thought was: seems about right. Didn’t even flinch, didn’t even scream. I just walked over to the sink, accepted my fate and held my thumb under running water. After 5 minutes of extreme bleeding, and me starting to fear exsanguination , I googled ”what to do when thumb cut” (yes, those exact words). The answer was to put pressure on it. So I got out my first aid kit that consists of like 3 plasters and a bandage, and but pressure on it and to hold it up (does that make sense?).
It stopped bleeding. Where’s my PhD, I’m ready to be a doctor. (Maybe not in an English speaking country)
I now am snacking like a toothless grandma. I got the tomato soup and chamomille tea (as 3pm snack?!)
Gonna go pick up ma bike now. #theyseemerollin (cringe).

